Self-pity – The Unexpected Killer (Part 1)

“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.” Helen Keller

Helen Keller

I’m sure you noticed the prior post, titled: Self-pity. I wanted to shine a light on it from an observational point of view – the view we don’t often see while wallowing in the crippling pool of self-pity every once in a while, ourselves.

After all, it’s not a bad word, a swear word – it’s just a word, a tool like fire. It’s the action that is damaging. That caustic mental space each of us has visited at least once in our lives. No, I am not talking about depression or any other malady we might legitimately be suffering with and yet, who could possibly benefit more?  I do not believe there is a doctor alive that would not agree – no, recommend – that beginning a simple but solid goal program would be a absolute positive action and a step towards taking responsibility for your life. Okay, maybe not severe obsessive compulsives but you get the point.

Self-pity is – in this writers opinion – the single, largest waste of our time and lives. It has no redeeming qualities, no positive influence on our lives and each time we embrace it we slip back to the dependent level of effectiveness discussed in previous blog posts. By doing so, we’ve traded rose coloured glasses for a particular shade of dismal, viewing the world and everything in it, through them.


( (My apologies for the language. The picture made me laugh out loud, so I thought I would share.)

Anne Roiphe says this about the subject, “Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror.” The truth is, the further you slip the less you see the world and the goings on about you as they are. Think about it: when we are in this dark place, we are typically at our most stressed, most negative, most reclusive, stubborn, combative or indifferent and the list goes on. The fact is, any one of the above-mentioned states of mind will affect your ability to decipher reality closer to its source. Combined, often with a cherry on top, our ability to understand and relate to what the facts are is often compromised, sometimes drastically. (End of part 1)

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